Hi George. Wooooo. You’ve asked some good questions. I do think it is possible to be friends with former romantic partners. And YES I do think boundaries would be necessary especially if you have a current partner. This is a much longer conversation (maybe even a future post - hmmmm).
As far as the woman I stopped, I liked the fact that she seemed to still be very hip & youthful even though I knew she was an older woman. She was living in uptown, walking around a lot, dressed very chic, etc etc….so from those things I wanted to know more about her. She also looked like me - meaning she was a Black woman. I’d liken it to the importance of Black children having books with characters that look like them. I don’t even know if that makes sense but it does in my head. Ha!
When it comes to approaching strangers, most times I have just said what was in my head. “Hi, I’ve seen you, you look cool, I wanna know you!” I laughed as I typed that up because it sounds kinda crazy - I am still laughing at myself - but it’s the truth. I’ve also simply swapped numbers at a gathering, followed up, met for coffee, questioned them to death, and became friends that way. Wild enough, I have quite a few friends that were neighbors. Imagine that!
I hope I answered / provided clarity for you. If not, let’s meet for coffee and discuss more! 😝
Sorry to reply to a message one week later, but I have been thinking about friendship, especially since I read this post. I feel that I have many friends, but have had difficulty defining what constitutes a friend. Additional questions: Can you ever be a friend with a former romantic partner? What would be the terms of engagement? From your post; what was it about the woman's appearance that was "super cool looking"? Can you define it for yourself? Are there some general rules about approaching strangers based on their appearance (other than trying not to be mistaken for a pervert)?
I have a million thoughts, ideas and questions on this issue, and just wondered (without getting on Instagram) what your readers thought. Thanks.
I have a really hard time making friends. My family seems to take up all the extra energy I have. I wish this weren't the case but I don't know what to do about it. I got put on this crazy jury duty situation (one week each month for at least 18 months, possibly 24 months) and I have meet some really cool people. I have gotten to know them pretty well due to the amount of time we spend together. But I just can't see it going any further, they seem just as busy and tired as I am. One thing I do know is I wish my path would cross with yours Sally, I think you would make a great friend!
Hi Amy! I am sure you will find your ‘friendship groove’. If you’re open to it and want it, it will find its way to you! Our paths have at least crossed virtually and here we are, chatting. That’s when the internet is beautiful! All the hugs! 🩷
Hi George. Wooooo. You’ve asked some good questions. I do think it is possible to be friends with former romantic partners. And YES I do think boundaries would be necessary especially if you have a current partner. This is a much longer conversation (maybe even a future post - hmmmm).
As far as the woman I stopped, I liked the fact that she seemed to still be very hip & youthful even though I knew she was an older woman. She was living in uptown, walking around a lot, dressed very chic, etc etc….so from those things I wanted to know more about her. She also looked like me - meaning she was a Black woman. I’d liken it to the importance of Black children having books with characters that look like them. I don’t even know if that makes sense but it does in my head. Ha!
When it comes to approaching strangers, most times I have just said what was in my head. “Hi, I’ve seen you, you look cool, I wanna know you!” I laughed as I typed that up because it sounds kinda crazy - I am still laughing at myself - but it’s the truth. I’ve also simply swapped numbers at a gathering, followed up, met for coffee, questioned them to death, and became friends that way. Wild enough, I have quite a few friends that were neighbors. Imagine that!
I hope I answered / provided clarity for you. If not, let’s meet for coffee and discuss more! 😝
Sorry to reply to a message one week later, but I have been thinking about friendship, especially since I read this post. I feel that I have many friends, but have had difficulty defining what constitutes a friend. Additional questions: Can you ever be a friend with a former romantic partner? What would be the terms of engagement? From your post; what was it about the woman's appearance that was "super cool looking"? Can you define it for yourself? Are there some general rules about approaching strangers based on their appearance (other than trying not to be mistaken for a pervert)?
I have a million thoughts, ideas and questions on this issue, and just wondered (without getting on Instagram) what your readers thought. Thanks.
I have a really hard time making friends. My family seems to take up all the extra energy I have. I wish this weren't the case but I don't know what to do about it. I got put on this crazy jury duty situation (one week each month for at least 18 months, possibly 24 months) and I have meet some really cool people. I have gotten to know them pretty well due to the amount of time we spend together. But I just can't see it going any further, they seem just as busy and tired as I am. One thing I do know is I wish my path would cross with yours Sally, I think you would make a great friend!
Hi Amy! I am sure you will find your ‘friendship groove’. If you’re open to it and want it, it will find its way to you! Our paths have at least crossed virtually and here we are, chatting. That’s when the internet is beautiful! All the hugs! 🩷