I am guilty of using ‘friend’ loosely. But I do think there is a lot of friendship space between ‘associates’ and a ‘ride or die friend’.
Some people DO NOT like referring to someone as a friend unless they are a ‘ride or die’.
That’s not me.
If I have your number, you have mine, and we check in from time to time, I will call you a friend. You are not just an associate. Who started that anyway?
An ‘acquaintance’ sounds too pinky in the air for me. I want a softer term, a sweeter term.
Even if we are not friends, I still will see you online, at a restaurant, or wherever and be able to say: Oh yes we’re _________.
I decided to ask ChatGPT
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Tell me why do I love ‘familiar stranger’. It’s hilarious!
I don’t even know if any of this is making sense. What I really want to know is, do you still believe in making new friends as an adult?
I do!
I have incredible friendships with people who were neighbors.
I have a very dear friend I met at a focus group and another beautiful soul I met at a baby shower (the baby shower was for a friend I met at the trash drop-off | I think that baby is 11 now).
I once took a road trip in my forties with someone I had never met in life and now we call each other kindred because we are that close!
I have stopped a mature woman who I thought was super cool looking and told her: “I have seen you in the neighborhood and I wanna know you.” I literally stopped - I was driving and saw her walking.
My then boyfriend and I became friends with her and her husband. They were older and we had some great times, meals, and drinks with them.
See!?! Memories made.
There are people who say: “I don’t need any new friends”! I think they are missing out on some major joy in life.
When is the last time you met someone and they became your friend?
Please share your friendship stories in the comments.
side-note: reach out to your friend that’s been on your mind.
THAT’S IT Y’ALL - see ya here next Sunday at 3:33p CT
I’m always open to dialogue and feedback.
You can message me on Instagram @SallyMcMullin
Hugs & LOVE Y’all,
Sally Mc
Hi George. Wooooo. You’ve asked some good questions. I do think it is possible to be friends with former romantic partners. And YES I do think boundaries would be necessary especially if you have a current partner. This is a much longer conversation (maybe even a future post - hmmmm).
As far as the woman I stopped, I liked the fact that she seemed to still be very hip & youthful even though I knew she was an older woman. She was living in uptown, walking around a lot, dressed very chic, etc etc….so from those things I wanted to know more about her. She also looked like me - meaning she was a Black woman. I’d liken it to the importance of Black children having books with characters that look like them. I don’t even know if that makes sense but it does in my head. Ha!
When it comes to approaching strangers, most times I have just said what was in my head. “Hi, I’ve seen you, you look cool, I wanna know you!” I laughed as I typed that up because it sounds kinda crazy - I am still laughing at myself - but it’s the truth. I’ve also simply swapped numbers at a gathering, followed up, met for coffee, questioned them to death, and became friends that way. Wild enough, I have quite a few friends that were neighbors. Imagine that!
I hope I answered / provided clarity for you. If not, let’s meet for coffee and discuss more! 😝
Sorry to reply to a message one week later, but I have been thinking about friendship, especially since I read this post. I feel that I have many friends, but have had difficulty defining what constitutes a friend. Additional questions: Can you ever be a friend with a former romantic partner? What would be the terms of engagement? From your post; what was it about the woman's appearance that was "super cool looking"? Can you define it for yourself? Are there some general rules about approaching strangers based on their appearance (other than trying not to be mistaken for a pervert)?
I have a million thoughts, ideas and questions on this issue, and just wondered (without getting on Instagram) what your readers thought. Thanks.