Betty Jean McMullin

a random list of memories on the anniversary of my mother's passing | 4 February 2016

*this is about my adoptive mother - she was friends with my biological mother

• I used to be embarrassed that she called me ‘mama’ (especially in public). Now I love that she did.

• Coffee with plenty cream & sugar

• Wash dishes with the hottest water and tons of dishwashing liquid

• Use name brand detergent for washing clothes no matter the shortage of funds - Ha!

• She had some solid friendships - there was Mrs. Brown, Ms. Barbara Ann, and Ms. Dean. She had friends I called aunt - Aunt Jelly (I have no idea what her real name was), Aunt Dorothy, on and on.

  

  my a** managed to get hit by a car when I was little too - IYKYK

*every job she ever had, I went to work with her at least a few times, and it wasn’t on some “take your daughter to work day” vibe either.

• I used to help her clean houses.

• I remember helping her clean motel rooms (to this day, I like to leave a tip for housekeeping - my mom didn’t get tips. I go out of my way to speak to them. They often go unnoticed and that work is tough)

• My mom taught me how to make one helluva bed

• She was a cook at different places - a diner in Seymour, Texas (Rock Inn Cafe - ), a nursing home, a hotel in West Texas, and a few other places.

• We used to run a food truck that Lawrence McMullin built (long before food trucks were cool). We set up at various flea markets (Canton before it was so commercial, Bowie, Vernon, etc etc…) and outside ‘gambling shacks’ (Lawrence McMullin would come get the money as fast as we made it)

we rushed in from working, got dressed, and went to take this photo.

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While I was growing up we were very close but we had a shift in our relationship right before I turned 16.

It was NOT the normal teen daughter and mother shift that happens. It was much bigger and deeper than that (in my opinion).

We never recovered from that. Our relationship was complicated from that moment on.

When I was younger I absolutely could NOT understand certain decisions she made that complicated things but as I’ve lived more life, I can give her more grace.

I now know she was not equipped to do any better - whatever that may have looked like (more strength, more courage, more education, etc etc….).

I brought that complicated issue up to her on this day in 2016. The problem is, the morphine had fully kicked in.

She had one last moment when she came out of it and she said to me: “I’m okay”.

And because I said all I wanted to say to her, I knew, I would be okay too.

The crazy thing is, even though she wasn’t equipped, she fully equipped me!

in our complicated phase but the love was ALWAYS there

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*Consider this yet another public journal entry. I hope it helps, encourages, or frees someone.

*Please give grace for the writing style and the poor use of commas.

I gave this to you raw, uncut, unfiltered, and with emotions that come on the anniversary of my mom’s passing.

Thanks for being my human journal on this one.

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I welcome any comments you feel comfortable sharing about your relationship with your mother.

THAT’S IT Y’ALL - see ya here next Sunday at 3:33p CT

I’m always open to dialogue and feedback.

You can message me on Instagram @SallyMcMullin

Hugs & LOVE Y’all,

Sally Mc