A real struggle moment

*getting this week’s newsletter out was a struggle. An account of what happened.

Saturday, October 19, 2024

8:47a - ish

Walking on Katy Trail and telling myself it would be in my best interest to put newsletter together knowing I have to drive out of town tomorrow morning.

10a - ish

It is a glorious morning, perfect weather, and everyone in Dallas is outside. The last thing I want to do is go sit in front of the computer.

I left my backpack at home on purpose so that I would not detour and go to a coffee shop to work.

11:42a

Back home - makes coffee while on phone catching up with my brother

11:44a

My other brother sends a message to see if I am free to chat. I am determined to get work done so I message him back and tell him we will catch up later.

11:58a

I start working on some of my 12-week year ‘tactics’

2:15p -ish

Prepare to leave for a 3:30p appointment - newsletter not done! Now I start telling myself I could work on it before leaving tomorrow morning. LIES!

3:24p

Texting my uncle asking him ancestry questions to see if we are related to someone

5:20p

Indulge in delicious vegan junk food so I will for sure be crashing and ruining chances of productivity.

now I am just making plans to go to bed early so I won’t be sleepy on my trip tomorrow

8:29p

oh sh*t a 12-week year DAILY tactic I don’t wanna miss so I get started on that!

Basically TWELVE HOURS LATER and newsletter not done!

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Sunday, October 20, 2024

5:40a - ish

ME: ALEXA what time is it

6:10a - ish
weigh myself and see the pounds the vegan junk food + cashew overdose brought on

6:52a

preparing to do my nails because priorities - Lying to myself about how I can start typing up newsletter between coats

Mind you, I haven’t put one thing in my suitcase! I at least have it planned out.

I have to leave no later than 10:45a so we can see how unrealistic I have been

10:15a-1:59p

Drive. Drive. Sleepy. Buc-ees. Drive. Sleepy. Arrive.

2:35p

connect with friend - now really wondering when I will get newsletter organized and typed up

3:30p - 6p - ISH

hotel, gas, eat, and sleepy kicking my butt

now I start re-thinking my whole life! Next month will be two years of sending this newsletter out each week. I can’t miss. I don’t want to disappoint the community. I don’t want to disappoint myself.

I am soooo sleepy.

8:15p

power nap

8:30p-ISH

just a few more minutes - sets timer for 12 minutes

9:00p

what happened to the F*&^%&G timer

10:00p

inner dialogue: this once I will send it out on Monday.

10:30p-ISH

inner dialogue: you can’t do that!

hearing all the things in my head: Dr. Andrew Huberman talking about what happens in our brain when we push through and do something we don’t feel like doing, the mantra I hear this week: commitment over feelings, on and on.

10:34p

takes a cold shower to wake up and get myself going

10:57p - ISH

sat down to share all of this instead of what I planned on writing.

I showed up.

“Dear God I’m here!” - Celie

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Thanks so much for being here.

See ya next Sunday!

Hugs, Love, and Gratitude Y’all!

Sally Mc