3 Takeaways from watching a parents & adult children video
Gabor Maté with his son Daniel
Relationships are not 50/50 they are 100/100 (4:15 mark)
How do parents let go of the idea that they ‘know better’ because at some point they actually DID know better. (27:50 mark)
2a. “It’s hard to let go of roles - we tend to look at parenting as a role and as soon as we see it as a role, that comes with certain rules, expectations and fantasies.” - Gabor Maté [paraphrased] (27:55 mark)2b. kids will not recall the sleepless nights you made as a parent or the sacrifices and sufferings you had for them - they don’t owe you anything. (29:00 mark)
Gabor admits it is hard to do this because at a certain point a parent wants some gratitude / recognition. (30:35 mark)
2c. parenting is a RELATIONSHIP - relating to a person - relationships evolve. This means the ‘relationship’ will change over the years.
Therefore the ‘all knowing role’ subsides even though it was necessary in the child’s younger years. Now it becomes a person to person versus a parent to child relationship. (33:33 mark)We don’t know our children’s real needs. We all carry the wounds of our own childhood (40:46 mark)- we all carry stuff we did not get from our parents into parenting (42:10 mark).
WATCH VIDEO:
Do you have adult children?
Does any of this resonate with you?
I don’t have biological children but I have many ‘adult children’ that I have mentored since childhood.
Takeaways like this, help me to better mentor them (in my mind anyway). Of course, this is NOTHING like being a parent. I SALUTE (and bow down to) ALL PARENTS!
I welcome your thoughts on this.
THAT’S IT Y’ALL - see ya here next Sunday at 3:33p CT
You can message me on Instagram @SallyMcMullin
Hugs & LOVE Y’all,
Sally Mc
I’m going to listen to this! It struck a cord with me. As I’m in the middle of this process changing how I behave with man 26 & 29 year sons 😮💨💕Thank you